Untitled as yet
by WeCouldBeGone
Summary: Seifer is alone and lost in garden after the end of the game. Can squall, his roommate help him? Or will Squall discover his own problems are larger than those of his roommate?
1. Part I

Hello peoples. This is a bad story I decided to write. It has no plot, hence the 'bad' part in the previous sentence.  
  
Part I  
  
Strong fingers flexed and pressed against the keys that thumped softly against the golden copper saxophone as the soft tune wafted and echoed in the empty hall. The music paused and then a soft low note quivered on the air, wavering in silent agony before slowly dying away to nothing, leaving the hall once again in silence. The sound of a single pair of hands clapping made the player turn and bow from the waist for a long moment before straightening and letting the saxophone hang from it's strap, slowly bouncing against the hip of the musician. Soft blonde hair covered jade eyes as those torn windows to the soul slowly shuttered all the pain hidden deep inside them. The brunette had been passing and heard the soft notes and drifted in to investigate what was making the soft saddened sound.  
  
"What are you doing in here?"  
  
"Just thinking." The reply was soft, without malice, but a clear point to the lost aloneness that had once reigned in the room. The saxophone was righted and set back against lips and another soft tune flowed around the room. The blonde continued as if the brunette was no longer in the room. The brunette turned, knowing when he wasn't welcome and accepting that fact silently. If only he had the guts to stay, to ask what caused the pain that he had seen briefly in those beautiful jade eyes, to know the reason for his silence and his broken will. But he didn't, and later when his dorm room door opened, he feigned sleep, listening to the blonde moving around in the dark before the soft wet sound of blood made him sit up. He reached out, flicking the light on to watch blood run down Seifer's hands from his wrists. 


	2. Part II

Welcome back again peoples.  
  
Part II  
  
Seifer watched Squall as he stood and moved towards him. Seifer frowned before dropping his gaze back to the blood flowing from his wrists. It was strange to watch the blood run and not feel it, to not feel the pain. Maybe it was the fact that he had given up feeling anything years ago, or that fact that only music reached out to him, to the place inside him, small and insignificant, that still held emotions, that still FELT. Squall made to push a towel against the blood, but Seifer shook him away, ignoring his soft words as he stood, pushing past the smaller brunette until he stood by the window. He placed both palms against the glass as he contemplated the night-time view of the sea that they were currently drifting over. He resented the fact that no one cared, that no one bothered to speak with him. He looked at his own reflection between his palms, seeing the blond hair that hung in his eyes, the jade depths emotionless and hard as he looked at the scar between his brows. Perhaps, just perhaps, no one ever did.  
  
"Seifer, come here." Squall's voice was quiet, but commanding. Seifer turned his head, looking over his shoulder at the brunette and he smiled, not the smirk that always rested there, but a true smile.  
  
"Would you care Squall? Would you care if I died?" Seifer's voice was low, soft, a sweet sound that he didn't care about as he spoke to Squall. Squall frowned, reaching out to set a hand on Seifer's shoulder.  
  
"Of course I care. What do you take me for?"  
  
"An Ice Prince, properly named and labelled." Seifer spoke once again in that soft tone that made chills run down Squall's spine.  
  
"Was an Ice Prince, Seifer, was." Squall lifted his hand from Seifer's shoulder and held it out towards his hands, silently asking to bind the wounds. Seifer shook his head, lifting a now empty gaze to Squall.  
  
"One day, one fine day, maybe you'd understand." Seifer whispered the words, silent tears that he didn't realise or acknowledge slowly trickled down his cheeks.  
  
"If I told you, if I told you I can." Seifer spoke in a whisper, the tears running heavier. His voice quivered under the strain of the salty lump of tears in his throat.  
  
"I can walk, I can dream." Seifer felt the blood loss starting to go to his head.  
  
"I can run, I can scream..." Seifer felt his head spin and he slumped down, curling his arms around his waist and bringing his knees up to keep them from Squall. 


	3. Part III

Here is the third instalment in this story.  
  
Part III  
  
Squall felt helpless as he watched Seifer slump to the ground, his arms around his waist and his knees drawn up to his chest.  
  
"Is it because I can't feel?" Seifer whispered the words, his head drooping forward, his chin to his chest as he spoke in a whisper. Squall knelt beside him, gently drawing the fragile blonde into his embrace, just holding, not even trying to reach the lacerated wrists.  
  
"Is it because I can't heal?" Seifer's words had a set melody, a perfect cadence to them that made them lilt like a song around the huddled pair. Squall felt useless as he watched Seifer rock unhappily in his arms.  
  
"Or is it because you don't believe, you don't believe in me?" Seifer's pained whisper made Squall shake his head in denial.  
  
"Seifer, please let me help. I believe in you. I always have." Squall's voice was low, melancholy, as it always was when he spoke, the slow, soft, even tones that had long pauses between the words as though he thought heavily on what the next word would be. Seifer jerked a ragged nod to Squall and Squall stood, heaving Seifer to his feet and into the small bathroom that adjoined their shared room. Seifer slumped on the toilet seat as Squall drew out bandages and checked for Curaga spells within his magic stores.  
  
"Squall?" Seifer's voice was weak as he spoke and Squall spun, extending both hands out and blasting Seifer with four rapidly cast Curaga's. As the spells hit, Seifer jerked, waiting for the sting of their rapid healing to abate.  
  
"Too much?" Squall whispered the question as he held Seifer's hands palm up, watching the wounds close to leave scars over older scars. Squall's eyes narrowed at the sight of the older scars before lifting his gaze to Seifer's.  
  
"How long?" Squall didn't need to elaborate his question, her knew Seifer understood from the light in his eyes.  
  
"Ever since." Seifer didn't need to finish his statement either as Squall understood to what he was referring. Squall shook his head as he mopped at the blood coating Seifer's arms and hands. Silence reigned until a loud knocking on the door distracted both of them.  
  
"You gonna get it or what?" Seifer snarled the question as they both knew who would be on the other side of the door. Squall shook his head, gently pressing a hand to keep Seifer's jaw shut as he finished mopping up the last of the blood on Seifer. The sound of stomping slowly died away and Squall dropped his hands. Seifer raised a questioning eyebrow at Squall and he shrugged.  
  
"You'd best shower, I'll get you a change of clothes." Squall turned away, heading from the bathroom, but Seifer's hand on his elbow stopped him.  
  
"What's gotten into you Squall?"  
  
"Nothing Seifer, maybe this is how I've always been, maybe you just never noticed it." Squall took Seifer's hand from his elbow and squeezed the larger hand reassuringly before retreating to fetch the promised change of clothes. Squall slumped on his bed for a moment, unable to believe that he had almost revealed the secret that he had kept all his life. He couldn't bear to see Seifer's reaction to the tale Squall could tell him. He wouldn't! He wouldn't tell Seifer about it. Not ever. 


	4. Part IV

Lookie here! Already climbing through the chapters.  
  
Part IV  
  
Seifer did as asked, stepping into the shower to wash the remnants of his attempted suicide and to let the warmth of the water reach inside him and touch the part of him that he wished had died ages ago with his feelings. He scrubbed at his hair out of habit, letting the suds fly around him with his vicious movements. He cursed himself mentally, remembering with detail the day he'd walked in on Squall changing. The milky expanse of lean muscled body, the sight of a taut rear end, the sight of the perfection of Squall's manhood had instantly proved what he had suspected, that he was well and truly gay.  
  
As the images rushed back to Seifer, he felt himself harden, but he didn't dare attempt to relieve it. He knew nothing would be more embarrassing than Squall returning with a set of Seifer's clothes to find Seifer pleasuring himself. He remembered the rush he'd gotten when Squall has glanced up, spotted Seifer and had simply turned back to his task, not caring whether Seifer stayed or not. It had never occurred to Seifer in that moment to leave.  
  
He had stood and gaped at the perfection that had been Squall before he had allowed his passion vent itself in the duel that had caused their scars. He had felt so bad afterward, but Squall had simply turned away from him even more, losing what little friendship they had managed to salvage from the orphanage days before the GF's had removed all memories from them.  
  
"Seifer? You right in there?" Squall's voice was dangerously close. Seifer swallowed a harsh moan at the seductive sound of Squall's voice and forced his breathing to calm.  
  
"Yeah, I ain't gonna fall and break a hip." He amazed himself at the amount of sarcasm he could retain despite the quite predominate need that flooded him.  
  
"Ok, call out if you need a hand." Seifer's eyes widened as he listened to Squall's footsteps retreat. He shook his head and then pinched his arm, sure he'd been dreaming when Squall had spoken and that Squall's offer had not been what he'd heard, but something more mundane and ordinary for the Ice Prince. * He finished washing and stepped from the shower to find Squall standing with his back to the shower, his shoulders hunched forward, as though something was paining him. Seifer moved forward, ignoring and forgetting his state of undress and wetness as he reached out for Squall.  
  
"Squall? Shit man, you ok?" Seifer dropped his gaze to the blood pooling on the floor. Squall toppled away from him, landing on his side to roll onto his back, exposing Hyperion embedded in his chest. Seifer felt fear, anger, shock, sadness and a whole heap of other emotions running riot in him.  
  
"Squall? Squall! SQUALL!" Seifer dropped to his knees beside him and reached out to touch where Hyperion joined with silken milky white flesh.  
  
"Seifer."*  
  
"Seifer!" Squall's voice made Seifer snap his eyes open, finding himself wrapped in Squall's arms with a towel pooled over his lap. He touched Squall's chest, afraid to find a wound there.  
  
"Squall?"  
  
"You passed out in the shower. I didn't know what to think when I heard a thump and when you didn't respond, I stepped in. I'm sorry for imposing." Squall's voice was low as he spoke and Seifer shook his head, silently telling Squall he didn't care for the invasion of privacy.  
  
"It's fine now."  
  
"Ok, I'll leave you to dress. You think you'll need help?"  
  
"Nah, thanks anyway." Squall nodded and Seifer pushed away from Squall, wrapping the towel around himself, putting his back to Squall as he considered just how he was going to survive living with the sensual god that taunted him in his dreams, leaving him weak with wanting and desperate to hide those feelings. 


	5. Part V

New chappie! Yay!  
  
Part V  
  
Squall let his heart-rate slow, now that he knew that Seifer was ok. He'd been so frightened when he heard the crash, for a moment he thought his heart would explode at the sight of Seifer crumpled in the shower, the water still beating down on him. He sank down onto his bed, drawing the covers over his legs and waist, leaving his bare chest uncovered as he considered everything that had occurred through-out the day. He'd dumped Rinoa, unable to keep up the pretence anymore that he was straight.  
  
He disliked hiding what he was, even though garden protocol didn't accept gay couples within the school. He had been working to try and change that, but it had been hard enough to convince Cid and the others to accept Seifer back at the garden, let alone convince them that gay couples should be accepted as readily as heterosexual couples. He knew he could argue himself blue over the topic and get nowhere, he needed something to get the point across that gay couples were no different to others, something so convincing that they would be open to the idea.  
  
The one problem was that Squall, usually so cool and collected, the one that usually had all the answers, continued to draw a blank on the one thing that mattered most to him. He hated feeling useless. The sound of Seifer returning made him turn to watch Seifer as he crawled into his own bed, reaching out to turn off the one remaining light.  
  
"Thanks Squall." Squall opened his mouth to respond and then saw the outline of Seifer holding his hand out, stalling whatever Squall would have said.  
  
"Don't ask why, just thank you." Seifer whispered the words and Squall nodded and drew the covers up around his shoulders, silently wishing Seifer was gay. He hated feeling useless towards his emotions. Rinoa had been good for one thing. She'd convinced him to come out of his shell and he found that accepting his emotions and dealing with them was better than ignoring them. But these emotions didn't fit easily into any rational way to deal with them. He couldn't tell Seifer that he was the cause of his problems, nor could he talk to anyone else about it. He was in-between a rock and a hard place as the saying went.  
  
Squall woke to find Seifer at the window again, looking out at the early morning sun. Squall swung his legs from the bed before standing and stretching his arms above his head. He was so happy that him and Seifer were getting on better than they ever had, even at the orphanage. Squall was careful to keep his back hidden from everyone, but last night he had forgotten to pull a shirt on.  
  
"Leonhart? What the fuck?" He felt Seifer's hand on his back and jerked around, stepping back, a frightened caged look in his eyes. He stumbled backwards, his eyes on the ground as he ran into the wall. Seifer couldn't know! Not now, not ever. No one would talk to him again if they knew. Seifer pinned him against the wall and tipped his head up.  
  
"When did that happen? 'cause I swear I never did that." Squall shook his head, Seifer had been too late to scar his back so badly. But it was something he wouldn't speak about.  
  
"Seifer, let me away from the wall." Squall was surprised he could keep his voice so neutral as he was shaking inside with fear. Seifer frowned, but stepped back, letting Squall draw a t-shirt on over his back, covering what he knew to be very scarred flesh. Seifer advanced on him as Squall slid into his leather pants and wrapped his belts around his waist.  
  
"Squall, when did it happen?"  
  
"Seifer, don't ask. I can't tell you, not now, not ever." Squall slid Lionheart into its holster and stepped from the room, instantly assaulted by several tens of cadets, SeeD's and instructors, all demanding something. He pushed through them, slinging his jacket around his shoulders as he headed up to his office. He turned the crowd as he waited for the elevator.  
  
"Put all your questions, complaints and whatever in writing and have it sent to my desk." Squall stepped into the elevator and pressed the 'close door' button. He punched in his code and waited as the elevator took him down to his office. He hated dealing with the questions, 'are you dating the sorceress?', 'do we need to teach them para-magic if they're naturals?'. All the stupid questions that commonsense answered for you. 


	6. Part VI

Seifer's back, back again ... let's have some fun!  
  
Part VI  
  
Seifer watched Squall run from him. He couldn't believe the horror that Squall's back was. There were deep angry red gashes, pale deep white gashes, white lines that were barely there and red gashes that just ran along the surface. He closed his eyes and wondered how the horror had occurred. Who had scarred the perfect back. Seifer recalled his images from when he'd walked in on Squall and realised that he hadn't seen Squall's back. He'd had his front facing Seifer and he'd been standing at an angle, making it impossible for Seifer to see his back when he'd walked in. Now he understood why Squall didn't care, his back had been hidden and that was obviously the only thing that worried him.  
  
He stepped from the dorm and headed down to Squall's office. It took several tries to convince someone to take him down to his office. He still didn't understand why his office was in the basement when Cid had had his on the third floor. He stepped through the door without even knocking and moved to press his hands against the desk, leaning forward towards the sleeping lion in his chair. He was grateful he'd closed the door behind himself. He considered how he was going to wake Squall when one of Squall's eyes opened and met his gaze before closing again.  
  
"What are you doing here Seifer?" Seifer jumped and he heard a soft chuckle coming from Squall before Squall sat up and smiled at him.  
  
"I want to continue our talk about your back." He almost gasped at how quickly Squall's smile died and the warmth in his eyes disappeared.  
  
"I don't want to talk about it Seifer." He couldn't believe the coldness that coated his voice and he now understood why the others had labelled him as the 'ice prince'. He could really put ice into his words so that they stung. Seifer flinched back and stepped away.  
  
"Ok, so it's ok for you to probe into areas of my life, but I've got to stay out of yours?" Seifer snarled the words and watched Squall flinch as well and close his eyes again.  
  
"Ask anything you want, about anything. Just not my back." Squall spoke in a soft voice, his words slow and deliberate again. Seifer was surprised at how quickly he grew used to Squall's way of talking and the way he hardly ever met your gaze. He shook his head, not willing to let it drop so easily.  
  
"Why not? I showed you the scars I bear, why won't you show me yours?"  
  
"Mine hurt more than yours ever could." Squall's words, that could have been taken as prideful, were too full of pain to be taken as such. Seifer narrowed his gaze and leant forward again, forcing himself into Squall's personal space, making him open his eyes, to meet his gaze.  
  
"How could you know how much mine pain me? How could you?!?"  
  
"Are you blind Seifer?" He flinched back and his eyes narrowed again. How could Squall ask that? What had he missed that was so important? He followed Squall's eyes down to Squall's wrists and saw the scars there. Squall had suffered as he had, but he had pulled through by himself. How long had he been missing them? How long had they marred the pale skin?  
  
"How long?"  
  
"Nine years." Squall's cerulean eyes lifted back to Seifer's. Eyes that in their twenty years had seen so much horror, so much pain and suffering, eyes that had never had any innocence in them. Maybe that was why Seifer had been so drawn to him, seeing the difference between Squall and the others not in how he acted but what his eyes looked like. The lack on innocence had drawn Seifer to him like metal to lodestone. Zell, on the other hand, still had the innocence deep in his eyes. Seifer understood the difference, because there had never been any innocence in his own eyes. Squall's eyes could be so empty sometimes, that Seifer feared looking into them, incase he saw nothing at all deep within him. It was something that made Seifer wonder just how fragile Squall was inside.  
  
"How did you ... manage to survive?"  
  
"After the first time, I was put under surveillance twenty-four hours a day. A tiny little camera hovered around me. Surely you saw it?" Seifer cast his mind back and vaguely recalled a little thing flitting around Squall constantly.  
  
"Vaguely, how was it bad when you're eleven?"  
  
"Try being eleven again. If I recall that was the time you nearly pulverised Zell for saying something about your hair." Seifer blushed, remembering how offended he'd been from one little comment. He nodded to Squall, proving his point. 


	7. Part VII

You reckon Squall can keep his secret? Review and tell me if I should tell you.  
  
Part VII  
  
Seifer is persistent, I'll give him that much. He's distracted me from my work for twelve days now, trying to get me to tell him what happened to my back. I really wish he would leave well enough alone. Rinoa has been bugging me, demanding an explanation and I had to have Seifer send her away more than once when she wouldn't leave our room. That drove me to the brink of insanity, that she wouldn't leave me alone. She just yammers on about absolutely nothing. I felt like running her through with Lionheart so many times. I swear if she could read my mind, she would have run away shrieking. But of course she can't, although Seifer is getting very good at it.  
  
"Brooding again?"  
  
"Go away!" Squall spun to find Seifer standing behind him, his familiar smirk on his lips as he met Squall's gaze.  
  
"Starting to sound like a kid again ..."  
  
"SHUT UP!" Squall growled at him and stormed from the room, snatching Lionheart from it's case and heading into the training centre.  
  
"Oh Squall ..." Squall turned to see Selphie bouncing on her toes, a cigarette clasped between two fingers as her eyes drifted past him and focused on something, her fingers moving in a kind of fucked up wave.  
  
"Selphie, how many times did I tell you not to smoke crack on school grounds?"  
  
"Aw, Squallie! It's just a little fun ..." Squall rolled his eyes at her and made his escape before she remembered what she wanted from him. Once in the training centre he ran into something much worse than Selphie on crack ...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
It was ...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
Rinoa.  
  
Squall dove for the cover of the bushes and stopped, praying she hadn't seen him.  
  
"Oh Squallie-poo."  
  
"Damn." Today was just not Squall's day. First he had to put up with Angelo gnawing his favourite belt into tiny little pieces, then Seifer annoying him for six straight hours, followed by running into Selphie (on crack, which was worse than a normal Selphie) and now Rinoa, his own personal stalker. He stood up from his sprawl in the dirt and brushed some of the mud off his trousers and shirt, trying to look casual like he hadn't just dove into the bushes.  
  
"Oh, Squallie-poo, are you hurt? That fall must have been SO painful! You should watch where you're walking sweetums!"  
  
"I'm fine. Selphie was looking for you." Squall lied to her, as everyone knew that Selphie couldn't STAND Rinoa, for the time she kissed Irvine ... ... Selphie still hadn't forgiven her and when Selphie was on crack, Selphie was violent ... Squall hoped she'd keep Rinoa occupied for long enough. He managed to escape her as she drifted off after several attempts at a goodbye kiss.  
  
I swear that girl doesn't know a single thing about anything. A T-rexaur charged Squall as he swung Lionheart up and out, countering it's movement with a heavy blow. It staggered back and roared at him as he settled into his battle stance and waited for its next attack. It wasn't long in coming. He blocked the tail with Lionheart. It hacked a reasonable length from the end of the T-rexaur's tail. He enjoyed the fight, finding release from all the pent up anger and stress from having to deal with Seifer and Rinoa and a high on crack Selphie all in one day. He was just going in for the kill when teeth clamped on him from behind. He roared himself in pain as he brought the gunblade down on the first T-rexaur, killing it as he removed its head from its body before he turned to face the second one and had its tail smack him fair across the face. He went flying and collided with a tree.  
  
"Ok, time to play." Squall growled the words as he staggered to his feet, letting the green glow of the Curaga fade only a little before the yellow glow of the Aura stone came into effect. He closed his eyes and waited as his limit-break charged up in a second. He extended one hand as he waited for the power to come up fully.  
  
"FATED CIRCLE!" He charged in, letting the limit-break take over as he pulled the trigger on every strike. The T-rexaur fell down dead at the end of the battle. Squall drew a deep breath and turned away from the corpse, feeling relieved now that he wasn't full on pent up anger. The sound of booted footsteps caused his shoulders to tense as he turned and waited for the person to show themselves.  
  
"Awesome fight." Squall jumped and turned, surprised that his hearing had fooled him. Seifer stood off to the right of where he had been looking. Squall dipped his head in acknowledgment and felt something wet run down his right cheek. Seifer's widened eyes gave him the clue that it was blood.  
  
"You're bleeding." Seifer kept his voice level as Squall reached up to touch his ear. His fingertips came away bloody and he cursed softly, knowing he was out of curative spells. He felt his balance going and as everything turned black the last thing he could recall was the shocked expression on Seifer's face. 


	8. Part VIII

Uh-oh, Squallie's hurt  
  
Part VIII  
  
Seifer couldn't believe it when he watched Squall drop down at his feet, completely out of it. He bent down, gently scooping the ice prince into his arms. He cursed his lack of curative spells and prayed that the infirmary wasn't full. Squall obviously needed to be tended, although, during his fight he had fought well, as if nothing were ailing him. It must have been from when he collided with the tree. The infirmary was full. He stood there with Squall's blood dripping from both of them as he waited for a nurse to tend to him.  
  
"Oh god, it's the commander!" It was then that finally Squall got taken care of by the nurses. I stood in the room, watching as they rushed about him, using several different types of machines on him. I lost track of time, watching them inject him and poke and prod at him. Several times the doctors grew more rushed, almost as if they were going to lose him. Their words rushed over the top of my head. I couldn't understand a word they were saying until it seemed they switched to English.  
  
"..might never regain his balance..." "...might never fight again..." "...almost definitely won't be lifting that heavy gunblade again..." Oh god. Squall might be permanently incapacitated from this. He might never be the same. No, Squall would stay the same, he just wouldn't spend as much time in the training centre. He'd become more of a paper-pusher than a warrior. The ice prince confined to a small four walled room with his pride taken from him, most likely having to use something to help him keep his balance, like a cane ...  
  
"...he's coming 'round. Clear the room..." "...don't want him confused..." "...you there, clear out..."  
  
"I brought him in. I'm staying." I settled in the seat beside the bed and took his hand in mine, holding tightly enough for him to know I was there. I couldn't let him wake alone. He needed someone to explain just what happened to him. I watched as his head turned towards me, his painfilled eyes fluttering open and closed, trying to focus on me.  
  
"Seifer?"  
  
"I brought you to the infirmary. You were bleeding."  
  
"I remember. What's wrong with me?"  
  
"I don't know. I couldn't understand their bloody words. I swear they don't speak English." Squall smiled at me and nodded in understanding. I made to release his hand, but he clung all the tighter to my hand until I returned the pressure. We just stayed there in silence, me watching his face as he seemed to assess his body's condition, trying to find what was wrong.  
  
"Do you want me to fetch the doctor?"  
  
"Not just yet. Could you grab me that glass of water?" Squall nodded towards the glass that was out of both our reaches. I nodded and stood, gently releasing his hand. As I put my back to him to get the glass, I could hear the blankets rustling and as I turned back I found him holding his head, as if he were in pain. I set the glass aside as I put both my hands on his head, gently tipping it back so I could meet his eyes and hopefully see what was wrong.  
  
"Does it hurt?"  
  
"No, just so dizzy."  
  
"Lay back then and drink the water. I'll get the doctor." His reaction to movement frightened me. Suddenly I realised that what the doctor's had been muttering about could be true, watching him as he had struggled to simply sit up. I had to leave, I couldn't stand to see the realisation come across his face when he finally understands just what has happened to him. I sent the doctor in to him and fled back to our shared dorm. I would face him later, when I had myself under control. 


	9. Part IX

Seifer and Squallie are getting friendly...  
  
Part IX  
  
I may never fight again. It was all that I could think about. It was the only thought that I could focus on. Never fight again. Never feel Lionheart settled so wonderfully in my hand, the grip moulded to my hand after years of moulding it in battle to sit just right. What would Seifer think of me now? Practically an invalid ... I'd never be worthy of him now, scarred and worse than clumsy. How can I ever, ever tell him how I feel? How I'd always felt such a closeness to him, something that when I was young I couldn't explain and now that I can, sometimes I wish I couldn't because it makes for painful heartache as I think of what I could have. Because I constantly think of the 'what if 's. What if Seifer was gay? What if Seifer wanted me? What if garden accepted gay couples? I wonder if he'll come and help me to our dorm. I did ask the nurse to call for him when she asked who I wanted to help me. Then again, why should he bother with me. I'm less than nothing now. I was nothing before this and now I'm worse than that.  
  
"Brooding?" It is amazing how he always manages to guess what I'm thinking about. I nodded as I stood slowly. I hoped he couldn't see just how white my knuckles were gripping the rail that ran along the foot of the bed. He simply took my hand from the rail and gently pushed me back down onto the bed, settling a pair of wide legged trousers that I'd never seen before into my lap.  
  
"Put these on and I'll get a wheelchair. We can say that you've broken your ankles and you're to stay off them. That's what I told Cid and such. Your medical records are under lock and key." He deposited a key in my hand and gently curled my fingers around them before he stepped from the room, closing the door. I shed my trousers for the others as I considered what Seifer had done for me. He had stolen medical files, which in itself would get him expelled even though he is a SeeD, and then he lied to everyone to protect me. I was just easing myself back down on the bed when he opened the door and pushed the wheelchair into the room.  
  
"Ready to go?"  
  
"Why are you doing this for me?"  
  
"You didn't tell anyone about these." He waved to the scars on one of his wrists and I smiled and nodded as I settled myself in the wheelchair. He picked up the bag that had all my things in it and gently set that in my lap. I don't know what's come over him because he's so kind to me, so different to what he's been like recently. But I'm not going to question this change of heart. Several cadets stopped and stared as we passed and I swear I could hear them talking about me behind my back. Once we reached the dorm and the door was closed, I stood from the wheelchair and took a step forward. The room swung around me and I could hardly hold myself upright. I waited for it to recede before I attempted another step. I didn't know where Seifer was as I finally made it to my bed. The sound of footsteps off to my left made me look there to find nothing. I shook my head and jumped when Seifer's hand touched my ankle.  
  
"Why'd you look over there?" Seifer's voice was filled with concern and it made me want to curl up into a ball and forget the world.  
  
"It sounded like you were over there." I waved my hand towards the left. His understanding look wasn't filled with pity, which gave me a chance to get myself under control.  
  
"Want to eat in tonight?" I wondered just why he was being so nice, but I couldn't dare ask him, it would never seem right to ask such questions. Especially after refusing to tell him about my back. I could tell he was still dying to know just how it had happened, could I stand the retelling if I ever gave into his pestering and told him the truth?  
  
"Yeah. I just hope Rinoa doesn't show up." Seifer's smirk was one of the most reassuring expressions I can recall ever seeing because it was so normal. It happened all the time and it was mostly used to annoy me, but the fact that he was pretty much reacting the same as he always did with me was reassuring. That was something I feared, being treated differently now that I couldn't do everything I was once capable of doing.  
  
"I told her you'd be in the infirmary for another couple weeks and that you weren't allowed visitors." Seifer made me laugh. He always seemed to be one step ahead of me at the moment and I was grateful for that. 


	10. Part X

Out of the dorm we go ...  
  
Part X  
  
It was painful to watch him struggle to do things that had been done with graceful movements before. He hasn't left our room in the nine days he's been out of the infirmary. I've been told to get him out of here. I don't know if I can stand to listen to the people whisper about him and stare at him. He's human and the selfish hordes won't remember that if they get a whiff of what's really wrong with him. Right now he's sprawled on his bed, trying to focus on the book in front of him. I know it's hard for him to read and so many times I want to just sprawl beside him and read it out to him, but I won't. That would hurt him more than the headache he's no doubt developing trying to read that book. He looks so lost and alone when he can't manage something he could do before.  
  
"Hey Squall?"  
  
"Yeah?" Even his voice his different. He sounds so down-hearted now. He's looking at me and his eyes are even more lifeless than they were before.  
  
"You wanna head down to your office? Cid's been pestering why you're staying in here." I don't want to force him, but Cid will if he doesn't do something soon. He looked back to his book and I prayed that he wouldn't ignore me. Having appointed myself as his 'keeper' the task has given me so much time just to study the perfection of him. His beautiful bangs, those stormy eyes, the built body that has slowly gotten more and more masculine. Three years ago he was willowy and lithe, now he has built himself up and he looks more like a cross between myself and Zell, muscular and strong, but also lithe.  
  
"Yeah. Let's head now." Here's the painful part, watching him try to stand. Just rolling over on his bed disorients him so that he has to stop dead still and wait for the nausea to reside. I moved the wheelchair to his side and waited as he stood, wavering before he managed to sink down into the chair. Often he gets annoyed when I push the chair, but not today. We managed to fight the crowds and get into his office. In the corner rests his Lionheart. I brought it here from our dorm so that he didn't have to look at it every time he was in there. I let go of the chair and he moved himself over to the case. I watched as he drew Lionheart from its case and rested it across his knees, just staring at the blue blade that he would probably never wield again.  
  
"I should have put that somewhere else right?" He jumped at my words, as if he had forgotten I was there. He turned to look at me and I could see the tears on his cheeks. I turned the key in the lock and moved to his side. Once there I sank to my knees and took his hands in mine. I wanted to do so much more than that. I wanted to curl up with him in his bed with the covers over us and forget about the rest of the world. But I know he wouldn't go for that.  
  
"No, it's best that I see it, so I can't fool myself that it'll just go away."  
  
"You want me to get rid of the bastards outside?" I could tell he was uncomfortable with the banging on the door and he nodded. I let go of his hand and stormed out the door to find myself face to face with Quistis (the slut that still has a crush on Squall) with a triumphant look on her face.  
  
"Squall wants to be left alone, so you can all disperse. He'll see everyone when he's ready. His injury is very painful and he doesn't want to take the pain out on anyone." I waved my arms in a shooing motion at the crowd as I finished before I closed the door behind myself.  
  
"Wasn't that going just a little too far?"  
  
"Nah, it got rid of them didn't it?" I looked up to find Squall in his desk chair, his head back and eyes closed as he had been the other time I'd been here to talk with him. There was a pang of sadness in me that made me realise that I didn't like the way Squall was now. He had been perfect before, an idol to be worshipped, that would never fall in love with me but now Squall isn't perfect and that scared me because I knew that I had no reason not to approach him with an offer of something more than friendship.  
  
"Seifer?"  
  
"Sorry, what?"  
  
"Do you reckon we could brave the cafeteria for dinner?"  
  
"If you're up to it. It's real noisy."  
  
"I'll have to do it sooner or later." 


	11. Part XI

Admittance from Squall.  
  
Part XI  
  
Seifer. Just his name makes my heart jump these days. It's been four weeks since the day I left our dorm and I can walk now. Just. It's more of a slow dawdle that isn't always straight, but Seifer reckons that it looks just the same as I walked before. The first few steps were done with Seifer holding me steady. His hands on my skin were heavenly and I had to hide in bed for an hour afterwards so that he wouldn't be able to tell the affect he had on me. Right now I'm waiting for him to come and join me in my office. He went into Esthar to see if they had any type of potion that could help me and he promised to be back by twenty minutes ago.  
  
"Got something. Odine wasn't too sure if it'd work, so it's not guaranteed."  
  
"We'll try it anyway tonight." We have tried so many powders and pills and devices but none of them seem to work. Seifer works harder at this than I do sometimes and it feels good to know that someone cares. Several times I've caught him watching me when I'm not supposed to notice and he has this far off look on his face as if he sees something more than just surface value. There's something in his eyes that makes me wonder just what he's thinking about. Sometimes I think that something might just be love and other times lust but mostly I think I'm crazy and that it's pity that he refuses to let me see. If it is pity, I don't mind that he keeps it from me.  
  
"I'm gonna head back and play for a while. You coming?"  
  
"Yeah." Seifer plays his saxophone several hours a day. He sounds so wonderful that sometimes I nearly cry at how beautiful it sounds. Today however I know I can't stand to listen to him. As we walked back, I caught his elbow just before the door. I had to ask him not to play. I had to tell him how I felt about him today, no matter what happens.  
  
"Could you not play tonight?"  
  
"What's wrong? I thought you liked me playing?"  
  
"I do, just not tonight Seifer."  
  
"Do you have one of those headaches again?"  
  
"Yeah." I hated having to lie to him, even though a killer headache was coming on, it was the fact that he played love songs most of the time. How the hell was I going to get through this without falling apart over him? Just this morning I saw him in only his boxers and I have never seen anything so fine in my entire life. His body's hairless, as if he shaves it or something and his fingernails are always short and neat. His hair, even when he just wakes up, is still almost always perfectly in place. I looked away from him as he opened the door and almost collided with Rinoa. I don't know what was worse, the fact that she had blonde roots that were three inches long, or the fact that she was trying to kiss me at the same time as she was trying to feel me up.  
  
"Rinoa."  
  
"Oh Squallie! I missed you so much!"  
  
"Rinoa."  
  
"Squallie, I know you miss me as much as I miss you."  
  
"Rinoa."  
  
"Squallie, you don't have to apologise, I know you were worked up about work."  
  
"Rinoa."  
  
"Squallie, I forgive you."  
  
"Rinoa."  
  
"Squallie, of course I'll take you back."  
  
"Rinoa."  
  
"Squallie, I love you."  
  
"Rinoa, I'm gay." 


	12. Part XII

Part XII  
  
"Squallie, I love you."  
  
"Rinoa, I'm gay." The words that I had been longing to hear from his lips for so long. And finally, he says them. Rinoa's expression was priceless though. Her mouth dropped open, her eyes filled with tears. Her hand finally made it to cover her mouth as she started to shake her head in denial. It was one of the best and worst attempts at acting I have ever seen.  
  
"Squallie no! You're playing a joke right? This is meant to be funny right? Well it's not Squall Leonhart! It's not funny at all!" God, she wasn't that childish when I went out with her, I swear it! Oh sure she can swear black and blue that we didn't, but I can tell you that she wasn't pure when I had her. I reckon it was Zone that took that flower. Squall however seems to be doing just fine handling Miss Princess.  
  
"It's no joke and I don't care who you tell. Tell Selphie for all I care." Squall turned away from Rinoa and towards me. I guess I looked pretty shocked as the blush crept up his neck and over his cheeks. I bowed and held our door open for him. He walked past and I stepped in and closed the door before Rinoa could squeeze her way in and torment us with her torrent of questions. Squall was face down on his bed and I moved to his side and just rested my fingertips against his shoulder. He knew I was there, even if he couldn't really feel the touch through his jacket.  
  
"Can we save the recriminations for another night?"  
  
"I was gonna suggest we try the potion from Odine, but if you're not up to it ..." I let my words trail off and I felt his shoulders relax just before he rolled over to face me with a hint of a smile in his eyes at the suggestion. I collected all the necessary items and motioned him over to the wooden chair we had in the corner from a previous occupant.  
  
"What do we have to do for this one?"  
  
"Mix it with water, hero, antidote and elixir and pour it into your ear every two hours as long as the mixture lasts."  
  
"How much water?"  
  
"Same amount as a hero bottle. I'll mix it into a pot."  
  
"Use the water to rinse the bottles."  
  
"Yeah, I know." I smiled at him as he moved to the chair as I collected pot to mix it all in. Once it was mixed it was a funny cloudy-blue-green-grey colour. Squall looked at it and screwed his nose up at it. I had to agree I wouldn't want it poured into my ear either. But we went through the process and the mixture lasted the next day and through the morning of the day after that. But the amazing thing was that it was working, slowly and only slightly, but it was working.  
  
"You'll have to get more of it."  
  
"I sent Raijin and Fujin to get it yesterday, they'll be here after lunch. You need to eat." I hated having to force him to eat. I guess not sleeping was affecting his appetite somehow. Then again he's always been on the don't need to eat side of things but right now it's essential that he eats as much as he has to. As much as I can get into him. Which isn't as much as he should eat, but I wouldn't be able to force another bite past his lips if he didn't let me.  
  
"Ok, just not chicken noodle soup again!"  
  
"Well, it's your fault for stocking us up on it."  
  
"It can be put into other things too."  
  
"And it takes too long right now to bother with it. How about a couple sandwiches?"  
  
"Yeah, ok." It's always a good thing when he agrees to eat because then I don't have to sit over him and watch him take every bite because otherwise he doesn't eat it. 


	13. Part XIII

Part XIII  
  
Seifer has been wonderful, but there's only so much he can do and then it comes to me doing it by myself. He's out at the moment, talking with Raijin and Fujin no doubt. They've been wonderful, even though they don't know the truth about me. The whole garden however knows I am gay. That went around fast and the disappearance of Rinoa signified it even more. I don't know what he's planning to do if anyone happens to get into the safe in our room and find the documents. Just what are on those documents is what has been niggling at my brain for so long that I just have to read them now. Once I found the key, it was a simple procedure of pulling the file out of it's plastic casing and spreading it out on the desk against the wall of the dorm. Once I know the full extent of my problems, I can adapt to the changes. As I was reading, it began to dawn on me that time was probably the only thing that would heal me. The door burst open and I scooped the file up quickly as Zell and Irvine fell into the room. Seifer was behind them, cursing at them for disturbing me as he snatched his key-card back from Zell, who had obviously 'mugged' it from him. I quickly passed the file to Seifer and he locked it back into the safe and passed me the key from the door. Zell and Irvine looked from to Seifer and back again.  
  
"What was that?" Zell asked in his voice that I think was meant to be 'cute' but I think it's just sickening. I just gave a casual wave.  
  
"Nothing important, just some stuff I found the other day in my office."  
  
"Then why isn't it there?"  
  
"Because I wanted to read it."  
  
"Hey Squall, that meeting with Cid is now, we should go." Seifer spoke up and I turned to look at him, confused as to the meeting that I swore was tomorrow. It was then I realised that he was lying to get us out of there.  
  
"Oh yeah. Sorry guys, we've got to go, we'll talk tomorrow right?"  
  
"Yeah sure. But I could have sworn I saw Cid leave with Edea."  
  
"No, they'd be back by now." Seifer supplied as he ushered them out the door. I stood hesitantly before he waved me back to my seat.  
  
"Now that they're gone, I brought dinner." He lifted the bag that I didn't see with him until now. I smiled and waited for the surprise.  
  
"I know it's your favourite, so I went looking and found a good little Indian place near Timber that makes take away. I've got all these curries and some other dishes, so you can pick and chose."  
  
"But I thought you didn't like it."  
  
"Ah, I can put up with it and you don't know, I might even decide that I do like it." I laughed and accepted a box and a fork, gently prying the lid open. The smell was wonderful and I sighed happily before digging in. When we ate together, we had both agreed that we wouldn't stand on ceremony and bother with manners.  
  
"Squall?"  
  
"Hmm?" I looked up from my food and he made a wiping motion on his cheek. I laughed and blushed as I wiped food from my cheek. He just smiled and went back to his own. It was then I noticed some on his nose.  
  
"Seifer?"  
  
"Hmm?" I made a wiping motion to my nose and he laughed and wiped the food from his nose.  
  
"I guess we're as bad as each other." Seifer mused and I laughed again and nodded at him. When we'd finished it was easy to dump the empty cartons in the bin and the still full ones into the fridge for later. Seifer slipped past me in the small kitchen to put the forks in the sink. As we moved in opposite directions, our bodies brushed against one another and I looked at him as I stepped away from the contact. He had something in his eyes before he looked away and coughed. I flinched and quickly escaped from the scene. 


	14. Part XIV

Part XIV

I watched Squall after that brush and the way he looked at me was as if he could read my mind. I turned my head away and coughed, trying to dispel the feeling inside me that made me want to ram him against the wall and kiss him until he cried out for mercy. I couldn't do that though. He would hit me and then spurn me and I'd lose my closest friend and, dare I say it, the one I love. Having him as a friend I could deal with, having him hate me because I had feelings for him, I could not. The way he fled with his tail between his legs made me think that I needed to do something to cheer him up. I ducked into the main room and found him curled up on his bed.

"I'm heading out. I realised I forgot something. You be right alone?"

"Can't I come?"

"Not this time, its a surprise."

"Ok, remember curfew at ten."

"I'll be back before then." I gave him a little wave before escaping. I practically ran to the pound. They have the cutest puppies, but I knew Squall would be more of a cat kind of person. I finally found the perfect cat. It was big, black, slightly fluffy and was a little antisocial, just like Squall (his hair is the slightly fluffy part) so I got it for him. I put him inside my jacket to carry him home. When we got to my dorm and I pushed the door open, I found Rinoa trying to kiss Squall and Squall trying to push her out the door.

"There you are Rinoa, the headmaster was looking for you just now. He's very worried." I grimaced as I spoke, hoping Cid was far, far away as she fled the room. I closed the door and looked at Squall.

"Why do you have a tail hanging from your jacket?"

"I have a present for you. Close your eyes." I waited until he did as I asked and then I sat the cat down beside him. It instantly crawled into his lap and curled up.

"Open." I whispered the word in his ear and his eyes opened and locked with mine before he looked down and smiled.

"You got me a cat?"

"I know you like them more than dogs." I spoke softly as I watched the awe in his face as he ran his fingers through it's fur.

"He's beautiful."

"And he was homeless, so you're helping him out too." I knew Squall was a soft heart for animals (except Angelo, but I think that was because he was so like Rinoa) and he didn't like to see them abused or homeless.

"Awe, thanks Seifer."

"Its nothin."

"Seifer, you know that I'm gay right?"

"Well I was there when you came out ..."

"There is a point to this. Anyway, would you help me out? I need to convince Cid that gay couples are ok, that there's nothing wrong about them. Seeing as we're best friends I was kinda hoping that you wouldn't mind pretending that we're something more." I gaped at him, he was serious? The chance to treat him as if he was really mine! I wouldn't give that up for the world.

"When do we start this?"

"I think you already did." I dropped my gaze to the cat and smiled as I ran a finger under his chin.

"You have to name him."

"Hyperion."

"I have a feeling he doesn't like it." I grinned at him. It was sweet of him to offer to call the cat after my gunblade, but we both knew the cat would not respond to that kind of name.

"Oscar." The cat looked up at that and I smiled.

"Looks like we've found it. Tomorrow we'll hold hands in the cafeteria, that'll get it started quick enough and it'll seem almost natural."

"Thanks for doing this."

"Ah, I have to tell you something."


	15. Part XV

Part XV

"Ah, I have to tell you something."

"What?" I was concerned because he was so serious looking. He grimaced and bit into his fist and I knew I had to give him time to think of how he wanted to say what was on his chest. I knew him so well by now that every motion had a meaning.

"I'm gay." He just blurted the words out and I felt my heart leap for joy. I guess I must have looked surprised because he laughed and gently chucked me under the chin.

"Now I've shocked you, we should get some sleep, we have some work to do tomorrow."

"I'm grateful that you're doing this for me." I truly was, he was going to be my boyfriend, even if it was only a trick to fool Cid and show him that we're just the same as a 'normal' couple.

"It's nothing." He just smiled and I wonder that just maybe he might like me too. I crawled into bed and Oscar settled down beside me, a warm furry lump that purred. I settled a hand on his head and turned the lights off.

The next morning Seifer was up before me and I had to wait to get into the shower. When he stepped out I just rolled my eyes at him and pushed past him. I know he turned my alarm off on me.

"What?"

"I know you touched the alarm again."

"I didn't."

"Did too."

"Did not!" Seifer laughed as he spoke, admitting that he really did do it as I closed the door. Once inside I slumped against the door and sighed, hoping that by pretending to date him I could get him out of my system once and for all. My office was the first place to go and Oscar came with us, tucked inside my jacket because it was winter and it was fucking cold. Oscar on the other hand was warm and produced warmth, so he was a good addition to my clothing.

Once we were inside the office, I could turn the heating on and let Oscar roam around the room. We'd stopped using the potion on my ear because it seemed to be still working without the dosage, so we were taking a calculated risk. I was a bit iffy over it, but Seifer reassured me stating that if it started to go down hill, we had enough powder to start it over again. The morning went quickly, dealing with all the stupid memos. I swear that the people around here cannot do a single thing without triple checking it with me first.

"Time for lunch. I don't think we should take Oscar with us. The people might scare him." I spoke to Seifer. He was in the corner polishing my gunblade for me. He'd said he'd take it out and give it a work out this afternoon for me. I knew it should be used so that the gun part didn't seize up. I planned on going with him as magical support.

"What?"

"Time for lunch." Seifer nodded as he put the gunblade back in its case and stood. I scooped up Oscar and we headed to our dorm. Standing in the doorway was Rinoa. I hesitated and Seifer reached out to link hands with me as we advanced on her together. She stood gaping at us. Oscar scrambled to get down and I let him down to watch him arch his back and hiss at Rinoa until she fled. Seifer laughed as he picked up Oscar and let us into the dorm. We'd outfitted the room with a litter tray, water bowl and food bowl for Oscar, as he'd obviously chosen my bed for his bed. I hoped that Rinoa would tell people about us and I also wanted to be the person to tell people as well.

"Hey, I started a rumour with Selphie before. Told her you and I had been out on a couple of dates." I raised an eyebrow at him and watched, surprised as he started to blush under my gaze. I let him stew under my gaze for a while longer before I nodded to him as he set Oscar down on my bed.

"That was a good idea." I smiled as he relaxed before we headed to the cafeteria for lunch. I gripped his hand as we stepped into the cafeteria and it was as if everyone's eyes were on us. Which was what we wanted to begin with anyway.


	16. Part XVI

Part XVI

I watched Squall over the week as we held hands everywhere and had a 'make out session' in the training centre. That was really me tripping over a bush and ripping my shirt and Squall falling to the ground laughing at me. I'd grabbed him in a headlock and mussed his hair and he'd retaliated in turn, mussing mine. But everyone looked at us as we left the training centre hand in hand, laughing with bits of leaves clinging to us everywhere.

"Oscar, come here, come here." I was lying on my bed-watching Squall try and con the cat to come out from under his bed. He'd fled under there when Squall had turned and stepped on him. I just grinned when Squall looked up at me.

"Oh, thanks ever so much for the help." Sarcasm dripped from his words and I grinned again, standing up before crouching behind him and leaning over his back, spreading my hands beside his as my breath blew across his cheek.

"Oscar, come here." I whispered the words and Oscar crawled from under the bed towards us. It was at that moment that the door burst open and Oscar darted back under the bed. I pressed a studied casual kiss to Squall's neck before I stood and turned to see who would just come barging into our room without so much as a knock. Zell and Irvine stood there like avenging angels and I snorted at the thought as I stepped back to hold a hand out to Squall. He waved it away and continued to stare at Oscar under the bed.

"Squall, we have company."

"I want Oscar."

"Can you come back later guys?" I gave them my trademark smirk, which always made Zell so riled up at me. It worked as Zell started to 'swat' flies before Irvine dragged him from the room. I turned back to Squall as Oscar crept out to rub against Squall. I wrapped an arm around his waist as he caught Oscar in his arms and hoisted him to his feet and pressed a kiss to his shoulder as I held him close. As I was holding him, the door whooshed open and Cid stepped in, pausing at the sight of us. I guess we made a convincing picture as Cid flushed and his mouth dropped open. Squall put a casual hand on my chest and pressed back against me. I paid attention to Oscar, fondling the cats' ears.

"I was told the rumours, but I had to see for myself. I can't believe that you Seifer, would stoop so low as to use sexual favours as bribery."

"Hey, hey, hold up there!" I shot away from Squall, a glower settling over my features.

"Headmaster, Seifer is my boyfriend. Anything we do, is consensual and mutual, nothing is used a bribery in any form." Squall leapt to my defence, gently settling Oscar on the bed as he spoke. I had to smile at the way he bristled and stepped in front of me, almost as if he was going to fight for me. Which I guess in a way he was ... Cid looked aghast at the idea that Squall was defending me. I settled down on his bed, to cuddle Oscar and watch the fight unfold. I knew this was one of the most crucial battles that Squall would be engaging in.

I grabbed Squall's wrist, pulling him down into my lap as he spouted out reasons and defences and shit. I wasn't interested in what he was saying; his neck was a more enticing object. I planted little kisses on the skin and felt him shift as Oscar settled in his lap. This part had to be believable or we'd lose the battle before we engaged in the first skirmish. I allowed my hand to roam across his stomach and his hand settled over mine, just holding it so I could feel the way his stomach was rolling and I knew he was nervous about this battle. I knew how much it meant to him and it meant a hell of a lot to me. I needed to know that I could walk around with my partner of choice and not get blasted over it. I know that partner would never be Squall, but I'm sure that someone would take an emotionally scarred ex-sorceress knight.

Squall turned to look at me, so I knew I was becoming overtly tense. I forced myself to relax and continue to nibble on the soft skin of his neck. What surprised me was that once the headmaster had left, Squall didn't pull away, instead, he remained in my arms and, after an extended period, we both realised with a jolt, that we were hard. I waited for him to pull away from me, but he didn't, he stayed in my arms and we eventually fell asleep that way.

I awoke to the feeling of warmth enveloping me and turned my head to find Squall snuggling into my arms. I allowed myself a moment of enjoyment as I kissed his forehead before I gently wriggled free of his hold. I left him, partly asleep in his bed and headed into the shower to give him time to wake up and accept what had happened the night before and to consider whether or not we actually scored a point or forfeited one to Cid in this battle. I was just wrapping the towel around my hips when Squall staggered into the bathroom. I didn't bother to say anything, just opened my arms for him. He sighed and sank into them, nuzzling against my throat.

"I don't think we did too well last night."

"I think we were believable, he just needs time to get over the fact that his commander is in love with the dude that tried to off everyone for a freaky sorceress bitch that had no fashion sense." I felt Squall laugh at that and I was glad he didn't notice the tenseness that that subject brought up in me. I ran a hand down his arm and then gently rubbed his back as we stood there.


	17. Part XVII

Part XVII

I felt so comfortable in Seifer's arms that defeat didn't bother me as much as it usually did. The sudden pounding on our door disrupted our moment. I could feel Seifer tense and I clenched him closer as we both heard the door splinter and the loud thudding footsteps.

"Uh Squall?"

"Mmm?"

"My towel's falling. I kinda need you to let go." I gave a small laugh and stepped back as he snagged his towel before it embarrassed him. It was then the door swung open as I stepped back towards him. I spun to face the intruder as I backed smack into Seifer's chest. There was a grunt and then his arms came around me, holding me close as his head dropped to suck at my neck. I moaned softly as my eyes stayed locked on Cid and Edea. They seemed shocked to see me and Seifer in such a compromising position. It felt wonderful to stand in his arms like I was, and I felt guilty for not admitting that I was attracted to him, more than I was interested in getting Cid to accept gay couples. But I know he would run from me if I told him that.

"Doesn't anyone knock anymore?" I spoke softly and felt Seifer's arms tighten around me in warning. I knew not to push too far, Cid might blow up and damn gay couples forever if I push too far. I felt something sliding down my spine and realized with a jolt that Seifer's towel was falling again. I reached a hand behind me and grabbed it, feeling his skin heat in what I knew would be a furious blush as Edea's eyes followed my hand. We both knew that I couldn't hold the towel forever, but neither of us wanted to move and break the gentle spell that was winding around the pair of us.

"Did we interrupt something?" Edea sounded so nice and I smiled at her and shrugged.

"We were just talking. Seifer just stepped out of the shower." I smiled at her as I explained and she smiled and nodded.

"I'd like to talk with the two of you about your relationship later today. What's a good time?"

"Two?" I turned to look at Seifer and he nodded.

"We should be back from lunch then." I smiled up at him and he took the cue, dropping a soft kiss on my forehead before tightening his hold on me, shielding his nearly naked form from Cid and Edea.

"I'll see you in Cid's office at two then."

"Wonderful." I could sense the light sarcasm in Seifer's voice as he responded. Cid and Edea left, Cid obviously under Edea's control as they left. I turned to Seifer as his towel fell all the way down. Before I got the chance to check him out, Seifer drew me tight against him and we kissed. I let my hand run across his chest and shivered at the wonderful sensation of his bare skin against my palms. The kiss had to end and it did, finally with a soft sigh from Seifer as I nestled my head under his chin, with my cheek against his breastbone. It felt wonderful to have his arms cinched around me as mine were around him.

"What are we going to say to her?"

"That we started out as friends and things just developed?"

"That's so corny." Seifer moaned and I laughed and squeezed him just a little.

"You think of something then, mister." I laughed when he just shrugged and held me tighter.

"We'll get through this, easy."

"You think so. She makes me nervous."

"Hello, who was the one under her control?"

"Ok, but you don't have to worry about her bringing up the time you spent wearing a Charlie brown shirt."


End file.
